I hate working out unless it involves backflips and body slams. I used to do all my exercise in a bingo hall with no a/c, in a wrestling ring that was harder than Frank Zappa in a used-panty store.

Like a lot of people, I put on some weight over the last year because I couldn’t go outside and white cheddar popcorn is cheaper than therapy. Even as gyms open up, they were never places I really ...